It's Hard Not to Hate You - by Valerie Frankel

It's hard not to love this book and to love Valerie after reading it.  Heck, I think I love myself a little more for reading it.  To say that I couldn't put it down would be an understatement.  I LOVED IT!  From the first chapter this book resonated so honestly with me that I felt like I could be reading my own story. 

For the record, unlike most of her other books, this is a memoir, a story of Valerie's life as a writer, a mother, a wife, but most of all a hater of the worst kind.  It began for her in 6th grade when she was shunned by her friends, laughed at in school and generally mistreated.  She decided to put on her "poker face" and not let the world see how much it got to her.  She let her hate fester and grow, but at some point it had to get out.

In her 40's after working years as a writer, losing her first husband to cancer in his 30's, leaving her with 2 small children and remarrying, she finds that she's inherited a rare genetic predisposition to cancer.  Luckily, her tumors were pre-cancerous, but this finding set her on a journey to discover a few things about herself.  She was angry at life, angry at everything, and hated everyone.  She had to learn how to let it out and calm down.  Over the course of a year, her discussions with a psychic, a Buddhist monk and Joan Rivers finally allow her to find a calmer version of herself.  She learned how to express her needs rather than just standing by and letting things happen around her (or not happen). 

"I'd ask you to please......" Read This Book.

It's Hard Not to Hate You

*I received a free promotional copy of this book for the promise of doing a review.

The Might Queens of Freeville: A Mother, A Daughter & The Town that Raised Thme , by Amy Dickinson

The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter, and the Town That Raised Them is the memoir of Amy Dickinson, the writer selected to replace Ann Landers.  This book is her story to some degree.  It's by no means a biography but more of stories of her life.  Each chapter is written around a theme and usually shares multiple small stories and one major one along the theme that ties them all together.

While the subtitle declares the book to be about "A Mother, A Daughter, and the Town that Raised them", I really wanted more of "the town that raised them".  I could see the stories as they were being woven together into a great movie, and I could also see someone coming along and fleshing out the stories of the smaller characters to make for a great little television series.

Amy comes from a long line of strong women in a small town.  Women, who for many generations have been used to going it alone. To the extent that the one aunt she has who got married and stayed married to her death was seen as an anomaly.  After years of marriage, Amy found herself returning back home to Freeville, a single mother.  By what seems like happenstance, but is closer to reality than what the movies want us to believe, Amy stumbles from one job to another and simply by knowing the right person gets her foot in the door to apply for the job as the countries most read advice columnist.  If knowing the right person was what got her foot in the door, giving the right answers was what got her the right job.  Amy shares the ups and downs of her life and what we learn through it is that she's just a normal woman from a small town, with lots of common sense that she inherited from all the other women in her life.

Eat, Pray, Love - by Elizabeth Gilbert

I had passed this book by many times. I remember first hearing about it 2 or 3 years ago and thinking it just didn't sound like something I'd be interested in. Perhaps it just wasn't the time. I picked it up recently because it was a listed book for a local book club I wanted to join. Once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down and if you know me you've heard about it. I have recommended it to every female I know and talked about this book constantly for the last few weeks.

The book is a journey, a true journey in so many ways. It is Elizabeth's journey but it is also my journey and I believe most any woman can identify with it many ways. The journey begins with Elizabeth decides she no longer wants to be married, she no longer wants the life she had committed to. She'd told herself (and others) for many years that when she was 30 she'd be ready to have children. 30 came and she was still not ready, but she realized moreso that the life she was leading was not her own, and was not a life she wanted.

Following a horrendous divorce, she begins to explore what SHE really wants in life and the answers came. She wanted to learn Italian - so she did. She wanted to visit Italy and thus the journey began. Somewhere during this process she discovered God. Not the God most of us picture if we've been brought up in a religion but what I can identify with as being a real God, the god within and without. It's hard to explain. She decides to take one year and travel and explore herself, learning who she is and how she relates to the world; to accept herself and love herself, so that later she can allow another to do the same.

Her journey begins in Italy where she decides to explore the pleasure side of life. For her that is centered around food. She also increases her effort to learn the beautiful Italian language. She makes friends and she learns more about herself along the way.

In the second part of the book, Elizabeth goes to India and stays in an Ashram (religious retreat) for 4 months. This is the part of the book that touched me the most. In this section of the book she really explores God and religion, the idea that there is this "God" that society has created and the differences between that God and what God really is or should be. The same goes for religion as she examines how so many times people get caught up in the rituals of religion without really thinking about or questioning why they follow these rituals, why are they there, what do they mean and do they matter? She finds her own way to God during this time and more importantly finds a way to let go of those things that have held her back.

But, you can't live in an Ashram forever. I can imagine that even if you could it would be easy to eventually forget why you do what you do and lose your connection to god in all the rituals. She leaves and goes to Indonesia (Bali). There she learns more about spirituality from a Bali Medicine man, she explores the culture, relaxes, makes friends, and maybe most importantly allows herself to fall in love. This section of the book is made most interesting by her discussions and investigations into the Bali culture and how it works, how it differs from our own culture.

I would go so far as to say this book is "life changing" for me, at the very least it has allowed me to see things in a different way and to acknowledge that the reality as I have seen it is not just something I've made up but that others see it too. This book allowed me to ask questions within myself and find answers that I didn't know were there.

I discovered today that they are making this book into a movie (go figure), starring Julia Roberts (of all people). I imagined this would happen, but this is one of those books that is so internal you can't possibly convey the scope of the book or the books message (even remotely) on a screen. It's just not possible. On the screen we will see her physical journey, but we won't see her spiritual journey as it took place within her, nor will we really see her emotional journey.

I could write about this book for days, but I won't. Just go read it and when you do, I'd love to know what you think.

Next Book: Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time