The Might Queens of Freeville: A Mother, A Daughter & The Town that Raised Thme , by Amy Dickinson

The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter, and the Town That Raised Them is the memoir of Amy Dickinson, the writer selected to replace Ann Landers.  This book is her story to some degree.  It's by no means a biography but more of stories of her life.  Each chapter is written around a theme and usually shares multiple small stories and one major one along the theme that ties them all together.

While the subtitle declares the book to be about "A Mother, A Daughter, and the Town that Raised them", I really wanted more of "the town that raised them".  I could see the stories as they were being woven together into a great movie, and I could also see someone coming along and fleshing out the stories of the smaller characters to make for a great little television series.

Amy comes from a long line of strong women in a small town.  Women, who for many generations have been used to going it alone. To the extent that the one aunt she has who got married and stayed married to her death was seen as an anomaly.  After years of marriage, Amy found herself returning back home to Freeville, a single mother.  By what seems like happenstance, but is closer to reality than what the movies want us to believe, Amy stumbles from one job to another and simply by knowing the right person gets her foot in the door to apply for the job as the countries most read advice columnist.  If knowing the right person was what got her foot in the door, giving the right answers was what got her the right job.  Amy shares the ups and downs of her life and what we learn through it is that she's just a normal woman from a small town, with lots of common sense that she inherited from all the other women in her life.

Smashed: The Story of a Drunken Girlhood

This was a hard book to read, one that I couldn't read more than a chapter at a time in even though I found it constantly interesting. I think it was so hard because I could relate. Koren's story is one that can relate to any female, I think, and really makes you think about your life and the choices you've made.

I didn't start drinking at 14, like Koren, I was 16. I can still remember that first time and how "cool" it felt. That wasn't my very first drink... my first taste of alcohol was at 8 years old. My Grandma let me taste her beer. I hated the taste and still do. I've had my moments of binge drinking and I've had my moments where my drinking approached alcoholic status. Luckily, I've been able to internalize and realize when those moments occur and change my actions before they become a problem.

Koren relates her feelings towards her drinking, towards the reasons why she drinks, the holes she is trying to fill with drinking and her attempted breaks from drinking in such a way that you feel like you are right there with her. Your heart breaks for her and you feel every emotion. I know what it was like to be a teenage girl who didn't feel like she fit in and wanted to do whatever it took to feel comfortable in her own skin. This is the story that Koren relates.

At some point we each have to come to our own and figure out who we are and make a decision to accept that person. Koren was also able to come to that point, which is what allowed her to share her story. I hope that 7 years later she is still as sober as she was when she related her story.

I feel that this book, along with Prozac Nation (Movie Tie-In) and the movie, Thirteen should be required reading/viewing for all adolescent women. These are honest stories that approach what could be in a way that doesn't glamorize it. When I read or see these stories now I realize that "that could have been me" with only a few changes. These are stories that parents should read/ watch as well to help them help their children avoid falling in these same holes.

Same Kind of Different As Me - by Ron Hall & Denver Moore

This book was really not at all what I expected. I picked it up at the bookstore one day on a whim. It looked like it might be interesting and then after I bought it I found it was an upcoming book for one of the library reading groups I was going to. I started it late so I didn't end up going to the book club to discuss it, but it is well worth discussing.

"Same Kind of Different As Me" is written by two men and is the story of their separate journeys that eventually merged. Denver Moore was born in Lousiana on a Plantation to a family of share-croppers. Slavery was long since passed, but share-cropping had replaced it, meaning that the black families still lived in small shacks on the white family's land and still worked the land in exchange for those houses and whatever they needed, but nothing more. They were not paid in money, and were given "credit' at the "The Man"'s store to buy the things they needed. Credit they would have paid off with the cotton they harvested if the harvest had ever been more than what they owed; remaining forever in debt to "the man". Once Denver was grown he eventually jumped a train to Texas where he found himself homeless but felt it was still a step above the life he had previously lead.

Ron Hall, on the other hand, had grown from the son of a poor farming family to a multi-million dollar art dealer, living in the lap of luxury, but kept grounded by his wife. His wife convinced him to join her in her efforts to help the homeless after she dreamt that that was something she needed to do. They began showing up regularly to the shelter and helping to cook and serve meals and it wasn't long before they were helping in other ways. Ron's wife had another dream about a homeless man who would change things. When she first saw Denver, she knew he was that man and tried to convince her husband to befriend him; not at an easy task.

Over time, Ron & Denver did become friends and they taught each other a great deal. This book is their story and one well worth reading. Is is the story of how one person can create great changes in the life of many. It is the story of dreams that do come true and lives that can be changed. I can understand why this book made the best seller list and has stayed there.

I don't know what I expected when I picked it up, but it wasn't the story I found or the way that it touched my heart and made me actually glad I had read. Few books leave you with that kind of feeling.

Eat, Pray, Love - by Elizabeth Gilbert

I had passed this book by many times. I remember first hearing about it 2 or 3 years ago and thinking it just didn't sound like something I'd be interested in. Perhaps it just wasn't the time. I picked it up recently because it was a listed book for a local book club I wanted to join. Once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down and if you know me you've heard about it. I have recommended it to every female I know and talked about this book constantly for the last few weeks.

The book is a journey, a true journey in so many ways. It is Elizabeth's journey but it is also my journey and I believe most any woman can identify with it many ways. The journey begins with Elizabeth decides she no longer wants to be married, she no longer wants the life she had committed to. She'd told herself (and others) for many years that when she was 30 she'd be ready to have children. 30 came and she was still not ready, but she realized moreso that the life she was leading was not her own, and was not a life she wanted.

Following a horrendous divorce, she begins to explore what SHE really wants in life and the answers came. She wanted to learn Italian - so she did. She wanted to visit Italy and thus the journey began. Somewhere during this process she discovered God. Not the God most of us picture if we've been brought up in a religion but what I can identify with as being a real God, the god within and without. It's hard to explain. She decides to take one year and travel and explore herself, learning who she is and how she relates to the world; to accept herself and love herself, so that later she can allow another to do the same.

Her journey begins in Italy where she decides to explore the pleasure side of life. For her that is centered around food. She also increases her effort to learn the beautiful Italian language. She makes friends and she learns more about herself along the way.

In the second part of the book, Elizabeth goes to India and stays in an Ashram (religious retreat) for 4 months. This is the part of the book that touched me the most. In this section of the book she really explores God and religion, the idea that there is this "God" that society has created and the differences between that God and what God really is or should be. The same goes for religion as she examines how so many times people get caught up in the rituals of religion without really thinking about or questioning why they follow these rituals, why are they there, what do they mean and do they matter? She finds her own way to God during this time and more importantly finds a way to let go of those things that have held her back.

But, you can't live in an Ashram forever. I can imagine that even if you could it would be easy to eventually forget why you do what you do and lose your connection to god in all the rituals. She leaves and goes to Indonesia (Bali). There she learns more about spirituality from a Bali Medicine man, she explores the culture, relaxes, makes friends, and maybe most importantly allows herself to fall in love. This section of the book is made most interesting by her discussions and investigations into the Bali culture and how it works, how it differs from our own culture.

I would go so far as to say this book is "life changing" for me, at the very least it has allowed me to see things in a different way and to acknowledge that the reality as I have seen it is not just something I've made up but that others see it too. This book allowed me to ask questions within myself and find answers that I didn't know were there.

I discovered today that they are making this book into a movie (go figure), starring Julia Roberts (of all people). I imagined this would happen, but this is one of those books that is so internal you can't possibly convey the scope of the book or the books message (even remotely) on a screen. It's just not possible. On the screen we will see her physical journey, but we won't see her spiritual journey as it took place within her, nor will we really see her emotional journey.

I could write about this book for days, but I won't. Just go read it and when you do, I'd love to know what you think.

Next Book: Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time